Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for the Wedding?

Photography: Tara Harp Photography; Wedding Planner, Design & Decor: Unique Rose Events & Designs; Day of Coordinator: Soirees By Lee; Venue: Cha’le Gardens

Getting married these days is very costly. For brides, before you buy from suppliers of your choice or hire the most costly services of makeup artists, wedding planners, coordinators, etc, talk to your husband-to-be first and discuss your budget.

Before you go bridezilla by demanding this and that for your wedding, determine who pays for your wedding and will cover the largest percentage of your wedding budget.

In today’s post we discuss the wedding etiquette of who pays for what and who traditionally should pay for your wedding. This will serve as a guide for couples who would like to know the basic etiquette in who pays for what.

Photographer: Michelle Scott Photography

Traditional Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For the Wedding?

Wedding Etiquette on who pays for the weddings has evolved for the last century. Traditionally, wedding etiquette books dictate that the bride's father should pay for the wedding. This tradition dates back to a time where young ladies were kept in the house, not allowed to work and go to school, were taught lessons on how to be a lady, social etiquette, and wedding etiquette in preparation for their lives as married women.

A daughter was 'given' by her father to a boy or a man who his father thought could feed and take care of his daughter when he was gone. Since he would be giving his daughter away, he would host his daughter's wedding and pay for everything as a sign of his agreement to his daughter's marriage. This practice was what set the traditional wedding etiquette standard for who pays for the wedding.

Modern Wedding Etiquette - Who Pays For the Wedding

In this day and age, who pays for the wedding is not as rigid as it was before. Should the bride and the groom can go traditional, they should ask the father of the bride to host the wedding and pay for the entire wedding expenses. Or if the parents of the groom have expressed their desire to be a co-host of the wedding event, they may do so, especially if the parents of the groom are wealthy and are able to cover some of the expenses.

With most couples both earning their own money, it is not a violation of wedding etiquette if the bride and the groom decide to pay for their own wedding. Some couples prefer to pay for the their own wedding so that they can have more control over the number of guests, the people in attendance, and how the celebration of the wedding should be held.

Alternative Ways of Paying - Wedding Etiquette

Some parents who may want to contribute to the wedding cost. The bride and groom should be sensitive to this matter. Do not say no to your parents, even if you think they will give you the last penny that they own. It is a joy for your parents to see their child get married and their pleasure to play a big part of your wedding (that is by shelling out money for the wedding cost).

You should sit down with your parents and discuss with them the projected costs of your wedding and ask them which part of the wedding expenses would they comfortably want to fund. This will allow your parents to have an idea of the exact amount that they will need to provide and give you two an estimate of how much you will need to raise.

Photography: Tara Harp Photography; Wedding Planner, Design & Decor: Unique Rose Events & Designs; Day of Coordinator: Soirees By Lee; Venue: Cha’le Gardens

Whether you follow the traditional wedding etiquette or you decided to go untraditional remember this day is to celebrate you and your groom becoming one. Don’t let anyone take away from your celebration.

If you need help planning your wedding, let us help you! Click here to schedule your consultation with us!

Great Grace XOXO

Choosing a Professional Wedding Planner

Planning your own wedding can be fun, but sometimes it can be just too overwhelming. This is when you should take advantage of a professional planner.

There are many places that you can find professional wedding planners or event planners. You can search the Internet or social media to find a wedding planner. We recommend researching reviews on each wedding planner that you choose. Shop around so that you can get the best estimate. Create a list of planners you like would like to do a face to face interview with. A face-to-face interview is extremely important because you and your wedding planner will become very close. You must have synergy.

Be sure to ensure that the wedding planner you want to hire has good recommendations. Experience and testimonials are very important when you hire any service, but your wedding planner is the most important service that you will be hiring, so you want to be very sure that you are hiring the best.

Apart from recommendations, try to check to see if the wedding planner has experience and get as much information about them as you can before you hire them. If you can find others who they have worked for, try to contact them and find out what sort of job the wedding planner has done for them.

A wedding planner can be quite expensive but is well worth the money. This is especially true when you have a large wedding to prepare for. Sometimes you have to hire someone to help you, or you will get overwhelmed. Remember, you cannot be a bride and planner on your wedding day. Do your research and hire the best wedding planner that you can afford. At the same time be careful to read the contract carefully before signing so that there are no misunderstandings. When you exercise caution and check out everything, you will be able to find a great planner who will make your wedding a special day for you.